Epilogue

[Epilogue]

[102]

        For Unexpected Work, in Unexpected World, with Unexpected people.

I have always lived with such a thought. This hope has not been realized yet. So there is a big emptiness in my heart. I need to fill up the emptiness.

On October 29 2016, one of my close friends Anita produced my performance at Theater Institute in front of the Museum of Contemporary Art Warsaw. This night, at the theater surrounded by trees, I went outside the theater and started dancing from under a big tree. I also helped with the lighting effect, and I could see a large group of ghosts behind the audience watching me, they were looking out from the audience seats. I heard a faint voice “Called by you, we came here as a part of the representatives of all the Earth members. As you know, Earthmen are not just about living beings. I think your ideas about us, aliens, and the extinct animals are also great. So, please show us your dance soon.” They came to this theater to support me. And I felt that some of them are also mixed with the deceased my best friend Yvonne.

[103]

I love Istanbul very much and I am continuing to come there every year since 2001. The reason why I love Istanbul, because Yvonne said that there are no cities where cultural shock is received as much as Istanbul. Istanbul is a big exchange point of civilization from ancient times to the present, and many cultures are mixed. Also, my students of women of my class at the contemporary dance department of the university and the participants in the dance studio, they have four different kinds of beauty, from Arabic, European, Russian and Asian. Sure, Istanbul is a nice city that leaves past heritage in a form that is visible and experiences cultural shock intensely. When I come here every time, old and new blood revives on my body and rejuvenates.

Recent Istanbul is controversial due to political turmoil, but cities with such a heavy history are rare in the world. I want to taste such a sense of Istanbul, I walk around the city alone during my work and get on a ship that goes through the Bosporus. This time is my dear time when I can think things most minutely. Many ideas are born on this ship, including the ideas what I want to do now and how I want to die.

[104]

America’s first female cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead sent a life full of dread. Due to the talent that everyone loves deeply, she had fall in love many times, she got deeply hurt and got a great pleasure. She married with Gregory Bateson, and made a child and divorced. A meaningful poem by Ruth Benedict she quoted;

          All that we have is the time that two wonderful living steps are attracted to each other’s investigation and carved one tempo.

The relationship between Margaret and Ruth also progressed secretly as a relationship of love, and Margaret wrote that “The moment of intelligent opening of eyes is similar to falling in love.”

[105]

Philosopher Arendt Hannah was a disciple of Heidegger. Heidegger taught her thoroughly about “How important is to think by yourself“, she resonated deeply with this thought. In the open court asking Eichmann Adolf‘s crime of Nazi war criminal warrant about how Eichmann is not a brutal human being but a mediocre person who just merely thinks not to think himself by complying with power. Then she received a great bashing from the press and public opinion that they wanted to thoroughly criticize the cruelty of Eichmann. However, Arendt bounced off this bashing. She has shown herself over how long it is that there are cases where it is sometimes how big negative chains may be caused by not thinking about important issues on our own and leaving it to others. We need to take responsibility ourselves for what we did. However, if we cease thinking ourselves, that trace will not remain in our mind and we can’t take responsibility for it. It is pointed out by Arendt that Eichmann was a good example.

And, when we see the movie of Arendt, we know another her theme underlying her life is love. Arendt loved Heidegger on a young day when she met him. Arendt in a young age, she was staring to Heidegger with an expression of euphoria. The expression is beautiful and impressive. Her husband who has continued to support her still knows that her love is alive in her heart and it is sad. He can’t change its love. But Arendt’s love to Heidegger is purely spiritual and it does not break the relationship with him. Arendt still loves her husband and needs him. That’s why he also accepts her. Such challenges frequently occur in our life. Having subjects of spiritual love will enrich our lives. But it is painful for our partner to have it. What to do? People in such a situation will be tested to their fullest extent of their ability to adjust.

[106]

 It is necessary for everyone as much as Love, and there is nothing to bother. It is as close as possible, none is impossible in the distance for Love. I also had one of themes to live seeking “Impossible Love” on the way of my life.

As Bjork sings “I am lonely without you, but I have not met you yet“, people are waiting for the appearance of “You” that they don’t meet yet? Love is one of the driving forces of human activity, no one can avoid passing. Especially, since Love is putting out their souls unprotected to the opponent, so if we make a mistake for selecting a partner, we hurt each other soul and fight each other with a bitter experience. Still, no matter how much we discipline, we can’t withdraw from Love. And we will be more deep our thoughts on “You” where Bjork sings whenever we have a bad time.

[107]

My work is to pursue “Dance that Matures Beyond Age” as a Butoh-Space Dancer, and to inform amicable relationship between body and environment, then to make “New Design” based on its information. Also, my work is to contributing to earth culture reform and space culture development through this design, and to operate “Space Museum” worldwide as the foothold for these works. What is necessary for such a big goal? Who should I see for it? Where should I go for it? So, I go around the world, repeating trial and error, getting down without going anywhere, and getting up as often as I can. Therefore, my life is so busy.

          It has been able to born only from a single spirit with specific knowledge, unexpected value and sticking commitment.

Today’s our modern world is already full with the countless wonderful expressions. Every time I learn about its fact, I often doubt myself that the world doesn’t need me and my expression is unnecessary. But it seems not to be the case. It seems that the world is waiting for a lot of expressions as we can fill the world with “Myriads of Better Things“. So, I also need to refine my sense and commitment and keep my hope.

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